Since I ve told you
by suaveyx
Summary: Ron finally admitted that he loves Hermione..starting at Bills wedding
1. Chapter 1

Bills wedding was a total fun. His wounds havent completely healed, but what I admired were the looks full of love, that he and Fleur exchanged. No matter, that he had bleeding scars all over his face, no matter, that sometimes she was acting like a bitch. The only thing, that was important at that moment was love.

I felt butterflies i my stomach again. She was sitting at a table with the twins, having a laugh about something and I felt jealous. I remembered Dumbledores funeral. I recalled how I felt, of course I felt unsure and devastated by Dumbledores death, but there was her. I had to be the stronger one to support her. When she leaned on me, I felt her tears on my robe. She didnt bother to wipe her face, she just let the tears come down. There was a stream on both of her cheeks, formed by lots of tears. This was so right. At that time I finally admitted to myself, that what I was feeling all those years was love. Paradoxicaly, with accepting this, I couldnt look at her the same as I used to.

She came for the wedding to the Burrow, but I keep avoiding her as much as I can. I know that I am hurting her, she sometimes looks at me with great dissapointment, but I cant face her yet. I saw her crying again yesterday on a garden bench as the sun went down...and I didnt come and tell her what was going on. She knew it anyways.

"Why are you so numb? Your brother is getting married" Harry hit me on the back. "I was just thinking a little bit". "I know what about, hope you make the right decision" So am I really that transparent, that he immediately recognised, that I was thinking about her? She probably knows anyways...The only problem is, that she can have anyone..she might be still in love with Victor, or there might be any other guy around, considering how I have been behaving for the past years...

An impuls stroke me. I just have to tell her! Tell her for the first time. As I was coming right to her, my legs went completely heavy. I knew I had to do it now or never. "Hermione, can I talk to you for a second?" She splurted the tea she had put in her mouth by the surprise, but she said yes. We went to the garden and we sat on the same bench she had cried earlier that day.

"Hermione, forgive me, I have been acting like an idiot, I dont want you to think that I am not your friend." I couldnt add anything else. She seemed relieved, but disapointed and possibly awaitig something else...I picked up the courage.."The reason why I have been acting this strange is that you only used to be my friend in the first three grades." She sighed, waiting silently for me to finish what I was saying to her. " I went on: " Since then I have been in love with you, trying to hide it as well as I could..but at Dumbledores funeral I finally admitted my feelings and couldnt face you anymore." I closed my eyes tight, praying for her to say she loves me too. She was silent for a long time, so I opened them again.. My heart sank, she was going away, as fast as she could. I tried to hold back the tears.. When I got back to the table, she was not there.

I ran to the house to talk to her, I needed a reply.. I saw her playing with Crookshanks. "Hermione, I need to have an answer, no matter what it is." It was the first time she spoke. 


	2. I was so close

Hermione didnt speak, she shouted:"You are a coward" She turned herself away from me, took the cat carefully and began walking upstairs to her and Ginnys room.

I felt numb, but tried to hold her back and took her elbow. " Leave me alone, or I will hex you!" I was so surprised, that I really let her go.

I couldnt think of anything better but to return to the garden bench, where we had sat before. I watched the murmur and happy cheering of the wedding party, but somehow I couldnt just go back and have fun again. I simply sit and stared at into nowhere, thinking about why she had called me a coward.

I saw Harry coming up to me, smiling slightly. " So tell me, did you tell her?" "I put up all my courage Harry" I screamed desperately. "So, what did she say then?"said Harry "That I am a coward, nothing more. I told her, that I have loved her for a long long time, she ran away and said this."

"Dont worry mate, she was probably overcome by feelings.. What I think is that she loves you too..and lets face it, she is the same coward as you are"

Knowing that I cant lose anything, I went to her room again. She was lying on her bed with eyes closed with tears sparkling on her face lit by the moonlight. With her wavy hair framing the silhouette of her beautiful face, she seemed so vunerable and fragile.

"How could I have thought that I felt love in Fleurs presence or with Lavender?" I slowly came to her and sat on her bed. She was fully aware of me, but didnt move, she seemed tired to do anything

"Hermione, I know I scared you today.. And I didnt want that to happen. I love you, I ve never loved anyone so much. You think I am a coward, maybe I really am, but I finally said what I feel and I hope it was not too late"

She was about to say something, but he interrupted her. " I want to apologize for my behaviour, you didnt deserve it. I would understand if you told me to go away and not show up for a long time."

Hermione smiled through tears and said: " I dont blame you Ron, when it comes to feelings, we all do the strangest things, I am not angry with you anymore" 

She was looking straight into my eyes and I felt a pressure to look somewhere else, but I couldnt. I leaned to her and at that moment Ginny busted the door open and I flew to another corner of the room, afraid of what Ginny might see.

I immediatelly realised, that this was not the right thing to do... 


End file.
